May I Kiss You?
by CowMow
Summary: On a sunday night, Sherlock, Mycroft, Gregory and John are together at Baker Street, watching the broadcast of the humurous seduction program May I Kiss You?, in which the first three men had been contesting for a kiss from John Watson. More info inside.
1. Proper Introductions

**Welcome to _May I Kiss You?_. I normally don't use long Author's Notes, but I think this one needs some explanation. I am Dutch, and I was watching this show called Mag Ik U Kussen? (_May I Kiss You?_) just some weeks ago. I was thinking, _what would my favorite men from Sherlock do in a situation like this_? And tada, my story you will be reading soon had begun. It is basically about three men who have to seduce a woman into allowing them to kiss her. Only one can win, of course, so it's a rather humurous game. **

**Well, I added my own twists and jokes, and it resulted in Mycroft, Sherlock and Gregory contesting for John Watson's lips. Takes place after the ReichenBach Fall, apparently there had been some sort of bet they didn't tell me about. Perhaps that needs a prequel. Who knows.**

**I have all the eight chapters written out already, so I will update this very regularly. Don't hesitate to ask me anything if it is unclear. **

**The** plain** text is present time, the** _Italic_** text is what happens on the telly in the show. **

**Last point, this has been beta-ed by the wonderful MrsCumberbatch, so please check out her stories as well. AND we will probably write stories together, so stay tuned! Any mistakes still present are mine, obviously, and mine only.**

**Obviously I don't own Sherlock, nor _Mag Ik U Kussen?_. I'm only playing with them for fun. **

**Enough Jibber-jabber for today, enjoy the story! Happy reading!**

**Kind Regards, CowMow.**

* * *

_**Chapter 1: Proper Introductions**_

_**...**_

"John, I really don't want to rewatch it."

"This is the first time it's broadcast, don't sulk," John said sternly, turning up the volume.

"Yeah, I kinda look forward to this you know," Greg's voice said after the owner of it sipped from his beer bottle.

"I'm sure you do." That was Mycroft, Sherlock's elder brother who sat on the sofa beside Sherlock, being casual and relaxed in his three-piece suit. "I can imagine you like to see the two of us humiliate ourselves in front of the whole nation."

Greg grinned, nodded and took another sip. How he loved life.

Sherlock huffed and curled up on the sofa. He would have left for bed, but John had forced a promise out of him to stay here. And even Sherlock was not really willing to face a furious John.

"Shht!" John said, excited. "It's starting!"

He sat down between Mycroft and Sherlock, and grinned like a fool.

...

_"The first kiss on screen was made in 1896, filmed by Edison Company. The film, called '__The May Irwin-John C. Rice Kiss'__ lasted for thirty seconds and consisted of a man and a woman kissing for the entire time. The first same-sex kiss was filmed in 1922 in DeMille's '__Manslaughter'__," the too-happy host said, grinning at the camera. "Well, I'm sure we will see one more today in our Crime Special of '__May I kiss You?__'! Welcome! My name is Philip Baker."_

_He gestured to the three men sitting on high stools. "Well, please, tell the audience your names and something about yourselves."_

_He looked expectantly at the first man, a tall man with a mop of dark curls and a pale complexion. _

_The man sighed. "I'm Sherlock Holmes and I'm a consulting detective." He looked depressed and very, very bored. _

_Philip coughed when Sherlock didn't explain or tell any more. "Would you care to explain that to the audience, Sherlock?"_

_Sherlock sighed and fixed his light grey eyes on the host. "I think I can safely assume all the people at home or present here know who I am."_

_When Philip continued to look very hopeful, Sherlock gave in. "Alright. I'm a consulting Detective, the only one in the world because I invented the job. When the police are out of their depth, which is always, they consult me."_

_..._

"Sherlock, can't you change that introdcution just once?" Mycroft asked. "It's getting a bit worn, don't you think, John?"

"No, I like it," John admitted, his eyes not leaving the screen for a single second.

"John likes it, Mycroft," Sherlock sneered, "And besides, it describes what I do accurately, so why should I cha-"

"Shut up!" John scolded, "I'm trying to listen here."

Sherlock wanted to make a clever remark, but John's elbow between his ribs was sufficient to keep him quiet.

...

_"Okay, thank you Sherlock," the host beamed just a bit too enthusiastic. "Well, that was our first Don Juan, who is the second?"_

_"I'm DI Gregory Lestrade, and I work for Scotland Yard," Greg said, smiling kindly at the host. "I solve crimes and try to keep London safe. Well, as safe as you can when Sherlock runs around in it."_

_"That's just rude, Lestrade," Sherlock said, almost ready to start pouting, which earned him a rather nasty look from Mycroft, who obviously wanted his own share of the glory._

_"Thank you, Gregory. Who is the very handsome man sitting next to you?" Philip asked, feeling more confident after Greg's willing answer._

_"My name is Mycroft Holmes, and I occupy a minor position in the British Government," Mycroft said._

_..._

"Really, Mycroft. Who said anything about me being unimaginative?" Sherlock said, glaring at his brother.

Before Mycroft could defend himself, John already readied himself to give Mycroft an elbow too. Mycroft quickly surrendered and looked back at the screen.

...

_"Oh, you are brothers! How exciting," the host cheered. "Tell me, you three know each other?" Philip asked the three of them, but looking very hopeful at Greg who nodded._

_"Sherlock here helps me out at crimes that are a tad more difficult," he explained. "And Mycroft peeps in to see if his brother behaves."_

_"I can imagine that is necessary," the host joked, which earned him a dead-glaring look from Holmes the Younger. _

_The host quickly asked, "You three are rather famous in the country now, espeacially after this whole Brook-incident."_

_"It was hardly an incident," Sherlock quipped in. "It was a consulting criminal trying to kill me. And because you are all so insipid and dumb he almost succeeded."_

_"I see," Philip quickly admitted, clearly intimidated by the consulting detective. "You faked your death and returned a year afterwards, while Gregory and Mycroft here cleared your name."_

_Sherlock nodded. "Obviously."_

_"Well, my dear audience," Philip, happy to do so, concluded the introduction-round. "We decided to make a special to celebrate Sherlock Holmes' return, and thankfully Sherlock, Mycroft and Gregory were able to make it."_

_"I was forced here, you see," Sherlock said. "It was a bet."_

_"A bet, that sounds interesting. What was it about?" Philip seized this opportunity with both hands._

_Sherlock's face flushed an emberrasing shade of crimson, and shook his head. "None of your business."_

_"It had to do with John and some… daring action," Mycroft said, smugly._

_"Mycroft, it was not and stop it." Sherlock's voice was deep and dark._

_"Make me." Mycroft's grin seemed to grow even broader._

_"I can smell a sibling feud here," Philip said, happy he could return to safe territory, namely explaining the rules of the game._

_..._

"I still can't believe you said that, Mycroft," Sherlock said angrily.

"Well, it is the truth." Mycroft unbuttoned his waistcoat and shrugged it off. "I'm enjoying myself better than I thought I would."

"Shut up!" This time it was Greg who grew tired of the never-ending comments. "If you don't keep your mouth shut, I'll gag you!"

Neither of the brothers dared to question that threat, so everyone's gaze returned to the small screen of the telly.

...

_"It's very easy, really," Philip said, cheeky and cheerily. "Our guest of this evening will come in here soon, and Sherlock, Gregory and Mycroft will have to try and seduce him by romantic poems, touching songs and honest answers. After five rounds, a loser will be chosen and the remaining two will have one last change to win the guest for them. Then the question will be asked, "May I kiss you?" which the guest will have to answer in all honesty. Welcome to May I Kiss You?"_

_..._

The host's face faded and the intro-theme started.

"Any one who wants a beer or something else?" John asked, and he quickly got everyone what they requested.

"I'm rather enjoying this," Greg admitted as he started sipping from his second beer that night.

"We all can see, Lestrade, thank you for stating the obvious!" Sherlock mumbled.

"Sherlock Augustus Holmes, behave!" his brother scolded him. John and Greg chuckled softly before the intro-titles had ended. The music stopped and Philip's face filled the screen once more.

...

To be continued.

* * *

Next up: Touching Poems.


	2. Touching Poems

_**Chapter 2: Touching Poems**_

...

_"Welcome back at May I Kiss You?, the show in which three now-famous men will seduce our guest of tonight. I think it's time to let him in. Let's give him a heartfelt applause, Doctor John Watson!"_

...

"That's me!" John squealed.

"I know," Sherlock, Mycroft and Greg answered simultaneously.

"Sorry," John blushed, "I'm a bit excited."

"Shut up!" shouted the three men at the same time, trying to keep up with the show and not miss a moment of it.

...

_John walked up the stage, looking comfy and rather handsome in his beige jeans and black turtleneck shirt. He grinned at the cheering and whooping crowd and bowed before he seated himself. When the audience didn't stop, he half-rose and bowed again, while lifting his hand in a wave._

_"Well, John," Philip smiled as soon as John had sat down again and the crowd had calmed down. "You're quite famous, aren't you?"_

_"Yes, apparently," John nodded, grinning broadly at his three friends before looking back at the host._

_"Of course, after a year of mourning your best friend, he came back from the dead. How are you feeling now?" the host asked, looking for a spectacular story._

_John threw Sherlock a side-glance and grinned. "I gave him a black eye and a bleeding nose. I think you'd better ask him." He laughed. "But honestly, I'm doing really well now."_

_"You started the "I Believe in Sherlock"-movement with that one comment on your blog. Did you ever think it would lead to this mania?"_

_"No, I really didn't! I just did, you know, believe in him, and I think everyone should know he was not a fraud," the blonde man answered calmly._

_"Do you _still_ believe in him?" Philip asked._

_John bit his lip, but there were small lights in his eyes that gave away his mirth. "I think I do, although it's hard to believe a man who faked his death, fooling our nation and his best friend in believing he was dead. But I think I still do. As I said to him, one cannot pretend to be such a pain in the ass all the time." __John added a small smile while he spoke, especially at the last line._

_"We all read your blog. Can you tell us something about your latest case?"_

_John nodded like an idiot. "It was a very tricky one, and I really enjoyed the running and fighting. It's just… It's horrible to think about what could have happened if Sherlock hadn't solved it in time. But apart from that, it was enjoyable, you should all read it," he concluded, grinning, lifting both his thumbs at the audience, earning him another round of cheers and yells._

_"Well John, tell me what attracts you in a man?"Philip said, anxious to get on with the show._

_John was silent for a while, obviously thinking about that. _

_"Don't give us the "I'm not actually gay"-answer, we all know better than that," Philip winked. _

_..._

"Isn't he annoying?" Sherlock sighed. "Anyone can see he rehearsed and practiced that one wink in front of the mirror a _zillion_ times."

"I think it looked good," Mycroft said, only to pester his little brother.

"So do I," Greg agreed. "I think he's a fine host. He gives John loads of screen time. You look good, John!"

"Thank you, Greg," John answered, appreciating the words. "That's more than I'll ever hear of Mister Pompous Git here," he added, prodding at his scowling flatmate.

...

_John grimaced, because that had been his intended answer. "Well, I like honesty and intelligence…"_

_John was interrupted by Greg who got to his feet and announced, "If he likes intelligent, he'd better choose one of the two men sitting next to me, as they are much cleverer than I." _

_Greg grinned as he walked away, only to return to sit back and smirk at a laughing John, who could barely contain himself from laughing really hard. _

_"I-I wasn't finished, Greg," he laughed. "Because I wanted to say I also like modesty and kindness."_

_As soon as he said that, Sherlock got to his feet. "Sorry, John, I think I won't be your man."_

_John cocked his eyebrow. "Since when are you cracking jokes? You never do that!"_

_"I thought that was the goal of this mind-numbing game," Sherlock said, feigning innocence. "Wasn't it? Just being '_funny'_, '_charming'_ and '_appealing'_?"_

_John grinned broadly at him before returning his attention to the host. _

_"Well," Philip coughed nervously, "wasn't that an exciting introduction round?"_

_The audience burst out in roaring laughter and whooping._

_When silence had returned, Philip announced, "It's time for the first round; make a romantic comparison of our guest to something you think he resembles. Sherlock, let's start with you."_

_Sherlock rolled his eyes but thought a bit and then said cheesily, "John Watson, to me you are a like food. I don't want it…" John's jaw fell and the audience booed in disbelief, "….but my body and mind can't do without." He accompanied his second line with a smug smile, knowing he had done very well._

_The audience cheered and clapped their hands enthusiastically. John grinned and bowed his head in acknowledgement. _

_"Let's see what your brother has come up with! Go ahead, Mycroft."_

_Mycroft cleared his throat. "John Watson, to me you are like an umbrella, you're just made to be wet above me," he said with a straight face. The audience erupted in cheers again, and John shook his head, grinning very hard._

_"Nice touch, Myc," Sherlock admitted._

...

"I only said that to be nice to a loser, of course" Sherlock said.

"I didn't lose! Well, not this round," Mycroft answered, sipping from his tea.

"Shut up! I'm up next," Greg smirked.

_..._

_"Okay, Gregory, you're next."_

_"All right." The silver-haired DI closed his eyes for a bit and then opened them to look straight at John. _

_"John Watson," he said in a velvety soft and seducing voice. "To me you are like a cat that has been driven over by a car." He wanted to continue but the audience was really going crazy._

_Greg lifted his hand, and when the audience's noise faded away, he continued in the same velvet-soft voice, his eyes not leaving John's face for a second, "even if you never came to me, I would still be waiting for you."_

_It was so quiet one could hear a pin drop, and finally John slowly clapped his hands. "Very nice, Greg, thank you. I'm touched." He stopped clapping and laid his hand on his chest, right above the place where his heart was._

_Sherlock threw the DI a nasty look. "I'll never win this," he pouted._

_Philip grinned again and said to John, "It's time to choose who won this round and who will be the loser!" He turned towards the audience and said, "While John makes his choice, we will prepare for the next round; Interests!"_

_..._

"Yeah!" John squealed. "That _Shared Interests-_round was amazing!"

"No." Greg folded his arms across his chest. "That was pure horror."

Sherlock smiled smugly. "I think that's what John meant to be amazing."

"Oh, bugger off would you?"

* * *

_Next up: Shared Interests. _

_Thank you for all the alerts and favorites, though some reviews might be appreciated as well :$. Thanks to the ever amazing MrsCumberbatch for beta'ing this dragon!_


	3. Shared Interests

_**Chapter 3: Shared Interests.**_

...

_"Well, John," Philip said, "what do you want to talk about with Sherlock?"_

_John, looking at Sherlock, said slowly, "I really adore books, expecially the books from Jane Austen. Now, many men think she's a writer for females and oversensitive women, but I really like her novels. Especially _Emma_, I think there is a very interesting story going on of a woman who has everything she wants, until she falls in love, and I do like to believe it can still tell us something today."_

_Philip nodded, interested. "Well, Sherlock," he said. "What do you have to say on this matter?"_

_"I think _Emma_ is an interesting book," Sherlock admitted, while his eyes shone devilishly._

_"Have you actually read it?" Mycroft teased._

_"Of course I have," Sherlock answered indigantly, "and it was rubbish. If Emma really is as clever as she says she is, she could have noticed the signs on Frank Churchill and Jane Fairfax the first time she met the kids. It's easy, really. Dilated pupils, elevated heart rate, secret looks and touches, personal tics both participants took over from the other... She could also have noticed the signs that 'Mr. E.' was going to propose to her by his nervousness, or his willingness to be in the same carriage with her. In short, if Jane Austen really was such a clever writer, she could have written the book much and much better."_

_John's jaw dropped and the audience was silent for a bit. _

...

John clenched his belly, trying to stop rolling off the sofa. "I can't believe you actually said all that!" he hiccupped. "You're supposed to seduce me; I hardly think it will work this way!"

"You said you liked honesty, and honesty is what you get, _Johnny dear_." Sherlock defended himself.

...

_"Ow. Well, thank you, Sherlock," Philip said, obviously at loss with the situation._

_"You're welcome, Philip," Sherlock answered, looking very well-pleased with himself but not noticing the awkward silence._

_"Gregory, you're next. John, what do you want to talk to him about?"_

_"My father always collected stamps; he had many from overseas and also some collectibles. I inherited them and sometimes I even buy a new one. Do you collect something?" _

_..._

"Really a shitty subject, John," Greg complained, staring at his empty beer-bottle. "Where do you keep the bottles? I have no desire to watch this, actually…"

...

_Greg coughed and cocked an eyebrow in disbelief. But then he suddenly seemed to have made up his mind, and he grinned when he began to speak. "I certainly collect things, John," he smiled. "It may sound stupid, but I have a, erm… call it a soft spot, for hedgehogs. I have so many of them... Porcelain, stuffed animals, real ones, pictures, even some self-made pictures of rare species of them. But, oh this is really great! I'm so besotted with those animals, that I made a blog about Hedgehog Hank and his adventures as a HI, Hedgehog Inspector. It's really thrilling to have such an insight in a hedgehog's brain. I also requested a special issue of the Playgirl to make a Hedgehog special, but nobody seemed interested."_

_Greg grinned self-complacent, and purposely ignored the shocked stares from his three friends and the host. _

_..._

"Good grief… I can't believe I said all that…" Greg buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"Ah, cheer up Greg," John tried to comfort him. "I thought it was really sweet!"

Sherlock and Mycroft choked on their respective drinks, simultaneously.

...

_"Okay…" Philip said, looking flushed and rather embarrassed. "John, do you have anything to say to that?"_

_John nodded, and asked, "If you're that fond of hedgehogs, will there be some place for me in your life?"_

_Greg nodded. "That's why I chose to participate, John. I've always thought you looked a bit like one. Hank agreed you'd be a nice addition to my collection."_

_The audience, having recovered from their initial shock, clapped hesitantly._

_..._

"Even the audience thought it was weird. Congratulations Lestrade, you've outdone yourself this time."

Greg shot Sherlock a murderous glance.

"At least he outdid himself _really well_."

Greg shot Mycroft a murderous glance too.

...

_"John, what do you want to discuss with Mycroft?"_

_"Mycroft, I have been an army doctor, which meant taking decisions in an instant. I've always had some difficulty with that. How do you do it?"_

_Mycroft cleared his throat and sat up straight, already having an answer in mind. "Dear doctor Watson, I understand many men have difficulties with making quick decisions. I always try to access a problem from as many sides as possible, trying to stay away from personal interests." _

_The audience looked visibly bored, but Mycroft Holmes wasn't finished yet. "But sometimes, one needs to think, not with his brains, but with some other… parts of his body. I think the primal needs are invaluable when it comes to deciding. Never decide with your heart, that will only turn things gravely awry, and who would want that..?"_

_John nodded and turned to face Philip. "I know enough."_

_..._

"Nice answer, Mycroft," Greg said appreciatively.

"Thank you, Detective Inspector," Mycroft bowed.

Sherlock huffed. "Ha, that comes from a man who claims to have a passionate love for hedgehogs. I would not believe him, Mycroft."

...

_"John will turn to vote while we will go on to round three, Unheard Insults!" Philip beamed._

_..._

_A/N: Wowzers. The reviews were incredibly kind! Thank you so much! I love reviews... :$_

_I'm glad you're all enjoying this so very much. I hope you enjoyed this chapt too? Well, next up is, as Philip kindly told us, Unheard Insults, in which our three seducers will be able to tell their true opinion of John, which John can't hear. Except at home, of course. Will it really be that bad?_

_As always, this chapter was beta'ed by Mrs. Cumberbatch, who is still awesome. :D_


	4. Unheard Insults

_**Chapter 4: Unheard Insults.**_

_**...**_

_"This is a short round," Philip announced. "John, please put on the headphones, and these men will show their true opinion of you."_

_John complied and dutifully put on the headphones._

_"Well, Sherlock," Philip said. "Do you think you could love John?"_

_Sherlock nodded, happy to be finally allowed to be his own snug self. "Oh, I would. I love all my housemates with the same undying love. I have had my skull to talk to for ages, and I always treat the feet and noses in the fridge, and the other experiments as well, with care and love. I think John would feel really at home with me, as I would truly value any result that I could extract from him."_

_"That's interesting, Sherlock. Can you tell me what you would do to him?" Philip asked, just for the sake of filling time._

_"I am so sorry, Philip," Sherlock answered sounding very insincere. "I can't do that. It could influence the course of the experiment, resulting in undependable results."_

_"Ah, c'mon Sherlock!" Philip pleaded. "Just something?"_

_Sherlock sighed deeply. "Okay, fine. Our experiment has been running ever since I met him." Sherlock looked straight into the camera. "John dear, your life is one big experiment, with only one possible outcome."_

_"And might that be?" Mycroft asked suddenly._

_"He'll kiss me, eventually." Sherlock smirked and looked back at Philip._

_..._

"Well, that's not that rude, is it?" John asked, feeling happy it wasn't as bad as he'd hoped.

...

_"Time to ask Gregory then," Philip said. "Tell me, Gregory, would you bring John with you at the New Scotland Yard as your boyfriend?"_

_"Of course," Greg answered. "I'd be so very proud of him. I mean, nobody at the Yard has a personal Hobbit that fetches coffee, drives the car, picks up the phone, and holds the umbrella when it rains when we're on crime scenes. Nor would anyone have a personal bodyguard to take bullets. You know, he's very good at that. Yes, I'd take him with me any time of day," Gregory concluded._

_"But don't you have Sergeant, erm, what was her name again? Sandra? Fanny?"_

_"Sally?" the DI offered._

_"Ah, yes. Sally. She follows you everywhere too, doesn't she?"_

_The silver-haired man nodded. "But she doesn't follow me home."_

_"And you are sure he will?" Philip asked, sensing a good comment here._

_"After tonight's kiss? Oh, yes he will."_

_..._

John just shook his head and refused to look at his three smug friends.

"Lestrade, he seriously won't," Sherlock argued.

"And what makes you so sure, mister Insulting Detective?" Gregory asked.

Sherlock huffed. "I just know."

"Oh, don't listen to him, Greg," Mycroft aided the poor DI. "He is just jealous."

"Pray tell me, dearest brother, why I would be jealous."

"Because his comments are better than yours."

"They are not!" Sherlock protested. "He agreed with me on the Emma-thing."

"That I certainly did," John said. "And now shut up, it's Mycroft's turn!"

...

_"And last but not least, Mycroft, I've heard you travel quite a lot. Would you take John with you?"_

_"On my trips you mean?" Mycroft asked, just to be sure._

_Philip nodded._

_The tall man smiled kindly. He knew he could make in impact by not saying much, just by being to the point._

_He glanced at his brother. "But of course, Philip. I think I could make good money out of him."_

...

John gulped and downed his beer in one go. He may or may not have muttered. At least no one heard his "unbelievable…"

...

...

A/N: WOW! I should have told you I love reviews way earlier! Thank you all for reviewing and alerting, the amount was truly overwhelming! Okay, next up is **Rough, Hoarse and Tender Love Songs,** in which our contestants will have to make changes to a song of choice to the approriate lyrics, suiting the moment and their feelings. You'd better polish up your French, because I made up a small quiz. Well, actually just one question, but the winner gets a special favour :)

PS: partly edited by MrsCumberbatch, as I added some stuff after she checked it. All mistakes are mine, obviously.


	5. Rough, Hoarse and Tender Love Songs

_**Chapter 5: Rough, Hoarse and Tender Love Songs**_

_..._

_The host looked at John. "John, tell us, where and how was your first kiss?" _

_John smiled and answered: "Well, it was at high school. I was a boy and lived on hormones alone I think. There was this Greek girl; I believe her name was Thauma, which means Miracle in English. She had long dark hair, dark eyes and her lips… phew… her lips… Well, it was Valentine's Day, and I bet with my friends I could make her kiss me. It was my very first I can assure you, and it was sweet and way too short."_

_"That's a lovely story, John. Have you spoken to her again since that?"_

_John shook his head. "Sadly, no. She turned out to be a erm... lesbian."_

_..._

"The kiss must have been very bad, John," Greg chuckled, before ducking to avoid the pillow John threw at him.

_..._

_"Okay then, John," Philip said. "It's time for round four; the Rough, Hoarse and Tender Love Songs. Each contester will pick a song of his choice and alter the text. John will comment on each of them later. Sherlock, you can start."_

_Sherlock got to his feet and said gravely, "I chose a French song, it's called _Souffrir par toi n'est pas souffrir, _but I altered it, just a little."_

_John nodded and Sherlock took this as the sign to get started._

_In his low baritone voice and with his eyes closed, he sang*,_

**.**

**"Maintenant, comme avant, **

**Doucement, sans pálir, sans mentir, sans souffrir,**

**Je te dis **

**Souffrir par toi c'est souffrir vraiement.**

**C'est comme toujour mal, mais ne meurt jamais **

**C'est eloigner du monde des vivants**

**En Baker Street, c'est toi que j'aime seulement."**

**.**

_Sherlock bowed deeply and flashed a blinding smile at John while he got back to his high stool and folded his arms across his chest. _

_"Okay, Greg, it's your turn!" Philip shouted happily._

_Greg got to his feet and announced: "_My Way_, by Frank Sinatra."He began singing with a deep voice, his feet planted firmly on the ground and his arms spread to be more impressive._

**.**

**"And now, the end is near**

**And so I face the final curtain.**

**My friend, I'll say it clear**

**I will kiss you until we're hurting**

**We'll live a life that's full**

**We don't need anyone with us**

**And more, what's more than this, I'm the man you'll kiss."**

**.**

_He sat down again and looked beaming at John, who nodded his approval._

_"Very nice, Gregory. Now, Mycroft, show us what you have prepared for today!"Philip cheered._

_Mycroft stood and adjusted his clothes. _

_"I was planning to do _I Will Always Love You_ from Whitney Houston."_

_He coughed and then, in a soft by very high voice, he began,_

**_._**

**_"If you will choose me, _**

**_You would only be in my way… _**

**_But you know, and I know, _**

**_We'll be happy together, every step of the way. _**

**_And I will certainly kiss you.._**

**_And I will always treasure you_**

**_You, me kissing you."_**

**_._**

_He bowed in the same manner Sherlock had done, and loosened his neck-tie before sitting down. _

_..._

"Really, I loved this round," John said as he offered his friends some more drinks. "You all sang so well, I'm almost touched."

"Well," Sherlock said thoughtfully. "It's not as if we did this for you, you know."

"No, indeed," Mycroft agreed, which caused John and Greg to cock an eyebrow.

"What?" Mycroft asked incredulous. "Did I say something strange?"

"Yes!" Greg said, while John nodded. "You just said 'indeed' after a claim Sherlock made seconds before you. That's quite an achievement."

Mycroft shrugged. "Well, I only wanted to say that we didn't do this for John, but for our own glory. We never loose, but obviously one of us just did."

"Shht!" John said. "I'm commenting on the songs!"

...

_"It's a shame I don't speak French that well, but the last sentence I understood. Very touching, Sher, and very nice. You have a beautiful voice," John commented while applauding for his friend._

_..._

"And I still think you should do something more with it. Do not just play the violin. Follow some singing lessons," John suggested.

Sherlock huffed and took another handful of the crisps to stuff his face with.

_..._

_"Greg, your song was really touching. Just to think I am the last thing you want before we die, it's very good to know."_

_Greg nodded. "Once I get to kiss you, I am sure I can die a happy man."_

_"And Mycroft, I love the way you sang these high notes just for me. Maybe I can make you sing even higher later?" John joked._

_..._

"That's so gross…" Sherlock said, turning green.

_..._

_"Well, John, did you like these serenades they sang just for you?" Philip queried._

_John sighed. "No. It was horrible. The words didn't fit the notes and none of them can sing. I'm glad this was just a one-off. I think, no scratch that. I _hope_ kissing one of them will be a more pleasant business."_

_Philip gave the audience a fat wink. "So… John. You've never tried it, then?"_

_John shook his head. _

_..._

"No… Because I Am Not GAY!" John bellowed at the telly.

"Wow… take it easy, Johnny Boy!" Greg commented angrily, covering his ears with his hands. "There's no need to shout."

"I agree," Sherlock and Mycroft said simultaneously. "You should have told them, not us. This won't really help."

John pouted and turned back his attention to the telly.

_..._

_"Dear audience, John will vote who wins this round, and we will pop off to round 5!"_

_..._

_..._

_A/N: _As promised, The Question. Who can translate the lyrics of Sherlock's song to English for me? I have a translation myself, and was wondering if you could do it too. The winners get the chance to tell the audience at home what they thought about this Episode of May I Kiss You?, as I will include their comments into my story, namely in chapter 8.

Thanks to all the reviewers, and alerters and Favoriters, I love you all! Thank you!

And, as always, a special thanks to MrsCumberbatch, who was my beta'er!

Cheerios, folks.


	6. Provoking Questions

_**Chapter 6: Provoking Questions**_

...

_"Our dear Audience, John had taken his pick on the winner of last round, and now it's about time to go to the last round before someone has to leave us. John, I trust you have prepared some questions?"_

_"Yes, Philip, I have!" John announced proudly._

_ ..._

"Those questions took me ages to make up..!" John said, trying to sound cool.

"Well, it didn't show."

"No, indeed it didn't."

"Shut up, you two," John yelled, just when Greg wanted to add a comment as well.

"Erm, I think-"

"You too, Greg.".

"Alri-"

"I mean it," the ex-soldier warned, looking straight at the DI without blinking.

"Oh, do you hear Mycroft? He means it," Sherlock said mockingly.

"I certainly heard, brother dear. I certainly heard," Mycroft nodded.

"Shut. Up," ordered John.

...

_"Ask ahead John. And boys, remember to keep it simple and brief." Philip beamed at the camera and pointed at John._

_"Sherlock, my first three questions are for you. One. What do you think is the sexiest part of your body?" John looked up from his small card and glared at Sherlock._

_Sherlock sighed and said: "I refuse to answer this in honesty."_

_"Sorry, Sherlock," Philip smiled. "I'm afraid it's the rules."_

_"Rules are boring." Sherlock pouted, but his brother's elbow between two of his ribs made him sit up straight and say with a scowl, "What is the sexiest part of my body? All of it."_

_John grinned. "No need to be modest eh?"_

_"You wanted honesty, John."_

_"I also requested modesty. But please, elaborate."_

_Sherlock sighed again and explained his point "Well, there is this song, called _Too Sexy_? If I have to be honest, it's written for me. The writer of that song admired my dark and soft curls, my pale and smooth skin, my deep and piercing eyes, my long and elegant limbs, my fluency and astounding ability with words, my -"_

_"Yes, thank you Sherlock, that was elaborated enough. Next, number two. What is your favorite Chemical?"_

_"That's an easy one. Rubidium*, especially when combined with water. It's highly interesting."_

_John sighed exasperated. "I don't even want to know what it does. Okay, last one. What's your favorite word in the English language?"_

_"Paycheck," Sherlock answered swiftly, plopping the P and clicking the K. _

_John nodded in approval before turning to Greg. __"Here's number one for Greg. What do you wear at night?"_

_"Ah, easy-peasy," the DI grinned mischievously. "Nothing."_

_"Nothing at all?" John asked incredulously._

_"That's right. Nothing at all."_

_"Erm… okay. Number two. What is eternity in three words?"_

_"Do it yourself," the DI said smoothly._

_John laughed, the audience exploded in cheers._

_"And the last one. What is your favorite word in the English language?"_

_"Oof," Greg said. "That's a difficult one, but I think it would be belligerence. It sounds so sophisticated for what is actually means, and in fact, I feel like it sometimes," Greg added, making a small gesture towards the Consulting Detective beside him._

_ ..._

"It _is_ a nice word," Mycroft admitted.

"Thank you," Greg chuckled.

_ ..._

_"And Mycroft, here are three for you. One, what would you never share with me?"_

_The tall red-head cleared his throat and smiled, "John dear, I would share everything with you, even my yellow, rubber bath-duck, but I'm sorry, I don't share cake. Especially not cheese cake, whether chocolate, strawberry or natural. It just doesn't happen."_

_John squinted at the tall man and looked down on his slip of paper. "Number two, what show will you never miss, even if I would want to have a date that night?"_

_"Flikken Maastricht."_

_John looked questioning; he had never heard of that show. _

_"It is a very nice police-drama series, set in the south of the Netherlands. It's about some policemen and policewomen, and they have these clever adventures and cases. It's very thrilling."_

_"You speak Dutch?" John asked incredulously._

_Mycroft nodded matter-of-factly. "Of course."_

_"Ah," John mumbled. "Number three. What is your favorite word in the Dutch language?"_

_ ..._

"I still don't believe you planned that in advance, John," Mycroft complained, whining.

"No, I didn't and I never said I did. Of course not, I just thought it was time to improvise."

...

_"That would be _Faliekant_. It means something close to _absolutely_ in English, but in a humorous way. People use it often in the Netherlands," Mycroft explained. _

_ ._

_"Well,' Philip announced. "That was round 5, ladies and gentlemen. Now, John, you have to make a choice; which of these three men will not make it to the final round? Is it your flatmate Sherlock Holmes, his brother Mycroft Holmes, or one of your best friends, DI Gregory Lestrade?"_

_Some exciting, drumming music started to play, and lights flashed over the three seducers. _

_"I'm sure I'll get in trouble for this," John said slowly, trying to make the moment as tense as possible, "and I'm sure I will regret it, but Mycroft Holmes, I'm sorry, you will not go to the next round. I think it's pretty rude not to share your cake with me, and you willingness to miss a date with me because of some Dutch show crosses to many borders."_

_ ..._

"Oh, his revenge will be very sweet, John," Sherlock warned.

"Oh, yes," Mycroft agreed in a low voice.

Gregory has had too much. "For Pete's sake, don't agree with each other all the time! It's bloody freaking me out!"

But all the reply he got were two devilish smirks from Britain's most feared siblings.

...

_"It looks like Sherlock Holmes and Gregory Lestrade will have to fight for John's lips!" Philip whooped too cheerily. "Let's go on to the final round; Last Chances!"_

_ ..._

*And this is why Sherlock LOVES Rubidium. /watch?v=eCk0lYB_8c0 (on YouTube of course) I strongly suggest you watch it.

_..._

A/N: Wow. Nobody who wants to solve the little puzzle of last chapter? Where is your sense of adventure? Just translate, and you can participate in my story! Otherwise I have to make up some comments... and I don't think that would do at all. I want to thank all the reviewers, please keep reviewing because it makes me so happy, and I can certainly use some happy at the mo.

Special thanks to **MrsCumberbatch** for taming the typo-dragon xD

Well, next up is round 6: _Last Chances_, in which John has to make a choice. Will it be Greg of Sherlock? What do you think? (You may vote of course xD it might change the course of history you know...)

Thanks for reading, I'll see you again tomorrow!


	7. Last Chances

_**Chapter 7: Last Chances.**_

...

_Sherlock and Gregory walked over to a plushy red sofa, and sat down on both sides of John, who wrapped his arms around his two friends. Mycroft looked on from his spot a bit further away. _

_"Okay, these are the rules. I will ask a question, you answer with only one word. John picks the answer that intrigues him most," Philip explained. "That person will explain and expand on his answer, until I ring the bell and the other gets a chance. After three rounds The Question will be asked, and John will have to choose the man he will allow to kiss him. Am I clear?"_

_"Perfectly so," Sherlock mumbled._

_Greg only beamed at John. _

_The audience was quiet; they didn't want to miss a single second of this last round._

…

It was the only time it was quiet at Baker Street 221B as well.

_…_

_"Sherlock and Gregory, John has a life filled with chases, patients, gun shots and adrenaline. He is tired of those things and wants to take a nice, restful week off. Where will you take him? One word. Gregory?"_

_"Egypt."_

_"Sherlock?"_

_"Baker Street."_

_"John, go ahead. Whose answer did you like the best?"_

_"I think I like Greg's answer quite much, so tell me, why Egypt?"asked John, quite intrigued by the DI's answer._

_"Well, John, I think it'd be good to get away from your freaky flatmate now and then, and I think Egypt would do. It has some adventure, after all we could ride a Camel, and there a-'_

_Philip ringed the bell. "Sherlock, why Baker Street?"_

_"Well, John, I know my blogger. My blogger doesn't want to be away from London, at least not the John Watson I know. He loves the thrills and the chases, perhaps even more than I do. He loves running through dark alleyways with me, he loved jumping from rooftops…"_

_"Gregory," the host interjected._

_"In Egypt we would try some new tea, you like tea, they have very nice kinds of tea. We could eat some healthy things, not just take-away but real food. We could even try the different smoking there, I am sure we would have fun! We would -"_

_"Sherlock, your turn."_

_"John, you know you love the anger that races through you when you find a head in the fridge, or bullet holes in the wall, we both know there's nowhere else you'd want to be but at Baker Street, but you also like to take care of people. You could take care of me, thoroughly if you wa-"_

_"Gregory?"_

_"In Egypt all attention would go to you. We will swim in the Nile, spot some hippo's, and go to see the many artifacts and mummies they have there. It would be interesting and refreshing after living with a toddler all the time."_

_"Sherlock?"_

_"Baker Street is your home. You feel at ease there and you can watch Doctor Who's finale live. I will keep my mouth shut and try to behave, it will all be very nice and I'll even make dinner if you want. Or we can easily go to Angelo, he has nice candles!"_

_"Aaaaaand the time's up." Philip ringed the bell and looked expectantly at Sherlock. _

_John had a bemused look on his face as he glanced between his two best friends. _

_ "John, may I kiss you?" Sherlock quietly asked after a short silence. Behind Sherlock, Mycroft could be seen grinning like an idiot._

_John smiled as he leaned closer towards Sherlock. His eyes were locked with the grey ones of the detective. The audience was quiet; there was some unsolved tension in the room that everyone sensed._

_Gregory's shoulders lowered; of course John would pick Sherlock. They were best mates, and flat mates too._

_John leaned even closer to Sherlock until his lips almost brushed against his friend's. He licked his lips, opened his mouth only slightly and breathed, just loud enough to be caught by the microphone, "No."_

_John sat up straight again, tore his gaze away from the Consulting Detective, grinned at the man and turned his head to look at Greg. "It's your lucky day, mate," he smirked._

_Greg licked his lips in anticipation and leaned towards the small blogger. He gently cupped John's face with both his hands and looked John in the eyes until John squeezed them shut._

_Greg closed the distance and pressed his lips against John's, moving slowly over John's until John responded. John's hands flew in the DI's silver hair and pulled him closer. Greg's hand moved downwards to John's waist. The kiss was suddenly passionately deepe-_

_…_

"Sherlock!" John, Mycroft and Greg all had an angry look on their faces.

"Why did you turn it off, bastard!" John almost yelled.

"It was just getting interesting!" Greg bellowed.

"I liked the action," Mycroft said thoughtfully.

"I didn't." Sherlock pouted and curled up in a ball.

"I don't care!" John got to his feet and grabbed the remote control from his friend's lap, but when it was turned on again, the kiss was over, and the host interviewed some of the guests.

The credits rolled and some happy voice announced the next program of the evening.

John sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can't believe this." He sighed. "Unbelievable. Why did you do that?"

Sherlock only shrugged.

Greg muttered something none of the men could catch and got to his feet as well. "I'd better be off. I'm sure there'll be a murder tomorrow morning. John, can't I just stay here for the night? Then I won't have to travel all the way back just to find a dead Detective on the floor."

John grimaced sourly. "I don't want any witnesses, Greg."

Mycroft stood as well. "It was an enjoyable experience, John," he said politely. "I've had more fun than I thought I would have. But I see Anthea has texted me a couple of times already, so I'd better be off to. Gregory, shall I drop you off at your house?"

Gregory accepted the offer and minutes later Sherlock and John were the only two left at Baker Street.

John turned off the telly and stood before Sherlock, his hands firmly planted on his hips. His eyes shone murderously, and he had an evil grin on his face.

Sherlock swallowed. "I take it that was a bit not good?"

...

To Be Continued.


	8. Author's Note

My dear Readers,

I am sorry to post a Author's note so soon after such a delightful kiss.

1: I made a **huge** mistake, and I sincerely want to apologise for that. I thought I translated the song Sherlock sang in chapter 5 correctly, but as it turned, it wasn't. Therefore my little quiz was a tad difficult to answer and very confusing to all my dear readers. Apologies, I am working on a solution. It might take some time, my French isn't what it used to be any more. Feel free to listen to the songs though, they are all wonderful. (Oh, btw, what did you think of the Rubidium experiment?) I feel deeply ashamed of my faultiness and will do everything to make it well. Please, bear with me.

2: I promised the readers who did try to translate the song, that they could write a small, in-story comment if they liked. If you did answer my question, you can send me a small PM and I will insert it into this story later. So, don't hesitate, write a short reaction as if you have been in the show and it will all work out just fine!

Anyways, thank you very much for all the lovely reviews and alerts, it has been amazing!

I hoped I informed you enough with this message, Chapter 8 will be up by tomorrow and it is called, _Aggressive Aftermath._

And now I am writing anyway... I always try to answer my reviewers, but two of them were unsigned, so I wasn't able to contact them.

**StopExplodingMyLungs:** Ha, I am certain I will! I. Will. BURN!. You. :)

**anoniem-mus:** Hahahaha! Dankje voor het reviewen, echt superleuk dat je het een leuk verhaal vind! Dat je nog nooit van het woord faliekant gehoord hebt! Ik weet zeker dat het in het woordenboek staat... Maar goed, een mens is nooit te jong om te leren, toch? En het programma.. het is meestal op zondagavond, rond een uur of negen op Nederland 3, gepresenteerd door Art Rooijakkers (van Wie Is De Mol?) Het is echt supergrappig... xD


	9. Aggressive Aftermath

**A/N: I am so sorry about the last author's note! Here is the one-but-final chapter. So there is one to go. If you want me to write one, that is. Do you?**

**...**

_**Chapter 8: Aggressive Aftermath**_

...

Sherlock swallowed. "I take it that was a bit not good?"

John's evil grin widened as he put down the telly control and turned around to face his friend. "I think one could say that, yes."

Sherlock pursed his lips. A question burned on his lips, but it was condescending to ask. John bit his under lip as he saw his friend's struggle, and finally Sherlock blurted it out. "Why not?"

John took a step towards Sherlock, keeping their eyes locked. "That was a very childish thing to do, Sherlock."

Sherlock shrugged.

"Why did you turn it off, right at the most important, exciting time?" John had both his feet planted firmly on the ground and he glared at his friend, grin not leaving his face.

Sherlock shrugged again. "We were all there, there's no need to watch that again."

"Greg and I liked to watch it!"

Sherlock mumbles something incoherently.

"What was that, Sherlock?" John demanded to know.

"I said, of course you did!" Sherlock got to his feet and stepped over to John until he towered over the smaller soldier.

John didn't look impressed and just looked up at his friend. "And why is that of course?"

Sherlock's shoulder lowered. He almost shrugged again but could contain himself.

John laughed inwardly. Sherlock hated it when John shrugged, because one should always be able to express their questions.

"I don't know." It seemed safe, to Sherlock, to settle to that answer.

John took another step closer, until they were chest to chest. Sherlock stepped backwards, unconsciously retaining his personal space.

John stepper closer, and the back of Sherlock's knees hit the sofa and he fell back.

In a low, dangerous voice, John purred, "Well, I do, Sherlock."

Sherlock cocked an eyebrow. "Do you?"

John nodded, and bent over to place both of his hands on either side of Sherlock's head. He leaned closer until their eyes were level. "I think I do."

Sherlock swallowed. "Do you care to tell me?" he said airily, trying to retain his cool demeanor.

"Oh, no, I won't tell." John loomed over Sherlock, his blue eyes looked straight into grey ones.

"Well, if you don't tell, then I won't ever know," Sherlock shot back, getting a bit nervous by now.

John smiled, grinned, smirked, whatever it was you wanted to call it. He leaned closer until his mouth almost touched Sherlock's ear. "Ever heard of jealousy, my friend?" he breathed.

Sherlock nodded. He pressed his back into the sofa to try and escape John's proximity, but John just followed him.

"Jealousy? Don't be ridiculous, John!" Sherlock mocked. "Why would I be jealous. Of Greg?" His voice was slightly higher than normal, and John fought back another evil grin.

"Oh, not?" he asked, teasing, pulling away from Sherlock.

Sherlock blinked. What had just happened? "I don't know!" he said.

"That's the second time you told me that today. It must be a new record."

Sherlock coughed nervously.

John inhaled deeply and said, "Tea?" He started walking back to the kitchen to make tea, but Sherlock's voice startled him.

"No."

John turned and looked at his flat mate, who sat on the sofa and glared at the skull until he turned his head and glared at John. "What did you mean, _jealousy_?"

John's grin returned and he strode back to Sherlock. "Have you never heard of jealousy, Sherlock?" he teased.

Sherlock closed his eyes briefly, cursing himself for not phrasing that sentence properly. "I mean, why did you mention jealousy in this case?"

"Ah, well.. I don't know. Something I felt, with my gut feeling, you know?"

"No," Sherlock answered, getting a bit angry with his irritating flat mate. Ah, that was a new one. "No, I don't know."

John squinted. "That was number three of tonight," he said pensively.

Sherlock squinted back, and the two flat mates stayed like that for what seemed ages.

John sighed at last, and smiled. "You were jealous of Greg. You want me."

A crease appeared between Sherlock's bushy eyebrows. "No, I don't!"

John laughed, utterly enjoying himself. "No, not like that. I am your only friend, and you want me all for yourself. But I have other friends as well, so I am afraid you will have to share me."

"I don't like sharing," Sherlock pouted, feeling a little bit relieved that John was willing to explain.

"Must be a family trait, I think," John joked.

Sherlock huffed. "I was much funnier than Greg. You should have chosen me."

John shook his head. "No, you were not. I mean… he made a dead-cat analogy and he wanted to take me to Egypt. It can't get any better."

Sherlock lifted his eyes up to his friend's face. "You _do_ like it here, at Baker Street, with me?"

John nodded. "Sure! But that wasn't what the game was about."

"Stupid."

John nodded again. "I agree. Do you want to kiss me though? I mean, we, erm, could, you know, give it a go?"

Sherlock's eyes widened in pure disgust. "NO! I think I just like you to be my blogger, but I have no wish to go to the kissing. Please, not."

"Good. Fine!" John smiled, feeling very relieved. "Tea?"

"Yes, please. Some Jammie Dodgers too, if we have some." Sherlock got to his feet and walked over to the table to retrieve his laptop from the heap of papers and files that lay on top of it.

John had just put on the kettle when Sherlock grabbed his hand and yanked him towards the door. "John, Lestrade called, we have a case!" he bellowed, excited, while grabbing his and John's coats from the peg in their way towards the door. "Do you have your gun?"

...

**To Be Continued?**


	10. Revealed Desires

**Chapter 9: Revealed Desires**

* * *

"Ah, Lestrade, how are you?" Sherlock greeted the DI with a fake grin on his face. "Long time no see."

John pursed his lips, swallowing a hating remark he had planned to throw at his friend who looked positively smug.

Lestrade glanced at John with a look the doctor could not really translate and nodded a curt greeting. "Crime scene's this way," he said, indicating the direction with a vague swipe of his hand. Sherlock stalked off immediately, ignoring Donovan and Anderson, who stood just before the door. John strode after Sherlock's billowing coat, and bit his lip.

He entered the house and was met by a large pool of blood, but no victim. John frowned. That was a _very_ large amount of blood. Greg followed them both and entered the room as well.

"Well, we know what's wrong here, don't we?" Sherlock sneered without turning to face the DI.

The silver-haired man swallowed hard and looked at the floor. "Anderson thinks the victim is not dead. Something to do with frozen blood, he said."

Sherlock spun at his heels and glared at Lestrade. "Say that again."

Greg raised his eyebrow. "Anderson said the blood was frozen."

Sherlock huffed. "Perhaps the man is learning. Let's see… where is the fridge?"

Lestrade frowned. "Are you alright?" he asked, wondering if Sherlock was high again.

"What? Me?" the consulting detective asked absently as he opened all the cupboards looking for the fridge.

"Yeah, you," Greg said exasperated. "You look rather distracted."

Sherlock smirked, and said smoothly, "Ah, but I am."

Greg cleared his throat, threw John a glance and quickly walked outside. John blinked and looked at Sherlock's back. The man straightened to his full height and looked at his blogger's frown of disapproval.

"That was rather unkind, Sherlock," John scolded.

Sherlock feigned innocence. "What do you mean?"

"You know very well that Greg thinks we are together now. I don't think that's kind."

Sherlock smirked. "His deductions are improving. I will congratulate him soon. And you, I think." He looked at John, all hints of mirth were gone and made place for a cunning look.

John inhaled sharply. "Why are you ALWAYS ruining everything, Sherlock?" he cried before running out of the room, bumping into Anderson.

"Watch out, mate!" the man shouted after John, but John had already left the house. He searched the area for a bit until he found Greg leaning against the wall, a cigarette between his lips.

John stuffed his hands in his pockets and strode over confidently. "Hi."

Greg looked startled, but greeted, "Hi." He inhaled the smoke deeply and exhaled slowly as if trying to relax. He pointed at the house. "How are things?" he asked casually.

John smiled. Sherlock was right. Of course he was. "Oh, he is fine. I think he has almost solved it."

The DI sighed. "That's not what I meant, John."

John's smile faded, making room for something else that Greg failed to notice as he stared at the chewing-gum-littered street.

"You know why I kissed you in that program, right?" John asked, fidgeting with his feet a little.

Greg nodded. "I understand, yes," he said. "I can imagine you want your first kiss to be perfect, and not celebrated in such a stupid game. I can't imagine you kissing Mycroft, so I was the next logical choice."

John smiled again, it lit up his eyes and made him look some years younger and rather hot, but Greg failed to notice that too.

"Well…" John said, cautiously. "I wouldn't say that. I think it was a perfect moment for a first kiss, don't you think?"

Greg shrugged. "I don't know."

"We have been there, haven't we?" John asked, trying to coax a favourable answer out of the detective.

Greg's head shot up, his eyes locking in John's. "Don't play with me, John."

"To me… you are like a cat that has been driven over by a car…" John said slowly, savouring the words. "Where did you get that from?"

Greg grinned. "It was a good one, wasn't it? I don't know, I think my sister's cat died and she waited for the animal to come home, but she didn't. I must have thought about that."

John licked his lips. "It was funny and raised much of applause. I was wondering about one thing though…"

Greg raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

John bit his lip but kept his gaze locked in Greg's. "Did you mean it?"

Greg laughed mockingly, but didn't answer.

John stepped closer, almost pressing Greg against the brick wall. "Can I take that as a yes?" he asked, his voice husky.

Greg swallowed audibly, his cigarette dropped to the ground. "If you want to," he answered.

"Oh, I really do," John growled. He pressed his cheek against Greg's and grabbed his hands, pressing them against the wall above his head. "What would you think a suitable location for a second kiss?" he whispered in Greg's ear, ignoring Greg's ragged breathing.

"Here!" Greg cried, lunging forward, eager to catch John's lips with his.

"Ah ah," John tutted, quickly withdrawing his head. "You have to ask me nicely, first." He grinned.

Greg smiled shyly. "You are evil, John Watson."

"I think that would be captain John Watson, or Doctor John Watson, either is fine." John grinned at the DI, his eyes shining.

Greg swallowed hard and whispered hoarsely, "May I kiss you, John?"

John nodded and slowly moved forward. "Yes, you may," he said in a low voice. Greg pressed his lips against John's softly, making it feel like a feather landing on satin.

John pressed Greg harder against the wall, dropping one hand to cup Greg's face.

Just when John tilted his head to deepen the kiss, cheering and applauding caused the two men to jump out of their reverie.

John spun around and glared at Donovan and Anderson who clapped their hands, smiling at their boss. Greg pushed himself away from the wall, sneaking his way around John.

"Wha- where are you going?" the doctor asked, baffled.

"John, there is a pool of blood in the living room, we don't have a body and we are making out like teenagers here. Not really appropriate, is it?"

"Sherlock is working on that," John threw in, rather lamely.

Greg smirked but didn't answer. He just looked at John, trying to unnerve him.

John pursed his lips. "Not kind, Greg."

Gregory licked his lips and turned around to walk back to the house. Suddenly John grabbed his upper arm and yanked him around. "Stay here," he rumbled.

Lestrade's eyes widened when he saw John's eyes, but he quickly gave in when John pressed his lips to his again. This one was not feathery and gentle, but rough and demanding.

Greg felt his knees buckle and grabbed John's shoulder to steady himself. John swiped his tongue across Greg's bottom lip, which made the grey-haired man gasp. John smiled against Greg's lips and planned to deepen again, when he felt a firm clasp at his shoulder.

John broke the kiss and turned around to face his friend. "Good grief… Sherlock!"

"What?"

"Can't you see I am rather busy here?" John said.

"Yes?" Sherlock answered in his 'obviously' voice.

"Good. Then act like you see!" John snapped. "I am trying to tell Greg here I want him and not some weird consulting detective."

"I am not weird," Sherlock sparred.

"Yes, you are!" John said. "Any way, have you solved it already?"

Sherlock beamed. "Of course!"

"Good," John said curtly. He grabbed Greg's hand and pulled him with him toward the street where they could get a cab.

"John?" Sherlock shouted after him. "Where are you going?" He came running after the two of them.

"We, Sherlock, are going to Baker Street. And by we, I mean Greg and me, not you. You can go somewhere else."

"But it's my flat too!" Sherlock whined.

Greg blushed but tightened his grip on John's hand. "You owe us, Sherlock."

"I owe you?" he asked, incredulous. "That is not true. Thanks to me you are together." He beamed, very proud and pleased with himself.

John stopped dead in his steps and turned around to face Sherlock again. "Wha- no it's not because of you…!"

Sherlock just smiled smugly. "Thank about it, Johnny dear. Well, you two have… erm… fun, I will be home later. Please, don't disturb any of my experiments!"

At the same moment a cab pulled up and John tugged Greg inside. The door closed and the taxi left.

Sherlock folded his coat around him tight and grinned to himself. At least Greg was better than those brainless girlfriends.

In the taxi, John had his arm curled around Greg's shoulder, while the DI rested his hand in John's lap. Greg tilted his head to look at John. "Where were we?"

John smiled. "I believe we were going to deepen the kiss, weren't we?"

"I believe we were, doctor."

John lowered his head, ready to kiss Greg senseless. Before their lips crashed together, he breathed, "I would love to see your hedgehog collection on day."

"Shut up and kiss me!"

The End?


End file.
